Back Surgery

I wish that title were a clever segue into talking about tweaking a character's back-story or some such, but unfortunately, this post is actually about back surgery. Specifically, Katrina's.

As some of you already know, for a little over a month Katrina has been suffering severe pain, as well as numbness and muscle weakness, radiating down her left side. About ten days ago, an MRI confirmed that she had a massively herniated disk -- one bad enough to warrant a consult with a spinal surgeon on Tuesday, followed by a diskectomy on Friday. As of right now, she's resting (somewhat uncomfortably) on the couch, but the fact that she is home at all right now is a relief. Thanks to the severity of her injury, the next two weeks are going to be a bit rocky, but overall, her prognosis is quite good.

Truthfully, I wasn't sure I'd mention it here, because I like to keep my writing life and personal life separate, and I'm wary of cheapening these sorts of things by treating them as blogfodder. And I rejected outright the idea of posting about it before her surgery took place. Downplaying her condition beforehand would have risked tempting fate; waxing melodramatic about it would would have been tacky and exploitive. But I'm writing about it now because it's been dominating my brain-space for quite a while now, and if I'm scarce in commenting on friends' blogs for the next several days, it's because my time online is limited until I can get her back on her feet.

While I'm posting, I'd like to give a huge shout-out to Dr. Binette of Orthopedic Associates, and the rest of his surgical team as well. They came through in a big way for the both of us, and I'm very grateful for the level of care they provided. Thanks to them, Katrina will be right as rain in a matter of weeks. Without their help, it would have been years, if ever, before she got back to normal functionality.

Oh, and a brief language-nerd PS: I used to hate the word "exploitive". For the longest time, "exploitative" was the more common form of the adjective for "exploit", and only in recent years has the admittedly odd-looking "exploitive" begun to make up ground. So why my conversion? Simple: "exploitive" is shorter, without sacrificing one iota of clarity. It's often said that in writing, clarity is god, and I agree. But I'd put brevity at a close second (demigod, maybe?). So "exploitive" it is.

Then again, I just used up a hundred or so words explaining why a couple fewer letters was the way to go, so what do I know?

John Connolly in Waterville

Tonight, at 8:15PM, John Connolly will be signing books at Children's Book Cellar (52 Main Street) in Waterville, Maine. I can't make it, but Bagley's gonna be there holding down the fort, which for my money makes two ridiculously talented crime writers under one roof. Be sure to check it out. You can read the details here.

Cash Money

Today has been kind of a shit day. As in a "in all my years as a doctor, that's the most impressively herniated disc I've ever seen" kind of day. (Not my disc, mind you, but Kat's. If it was my back that was all messed up, I'd be on the living room floor, demanding IV narcotics and crying like a tiny litte girl. Katrina went back to work, and followed that up with a little grocery shopping. Then she tried to carry the goddamn bags. And she actually is a tiny little girl. Maybe people should start saying "I cried like a scrawny, goateed crime writer." But I digress.) But you know what makes a shit day better? Money.

More specifically, money for writing. See, the mail today (which Katrina went and fetched; there's just no freakin' stopping her) contained a check from Dell Magazines -- payment for my short story Action, which will appear in Alfred Hitchcock's Mystery Magazine sometime in the not-too-distant future. It probably ain't enough to cover the copay for the MRI, but it doesn't matter. It may sound crass, but there's no better feeling for a writer than getting paid actual dollars American for something you made up.

So yeah. Happy-dancing abounds. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go prevent my wife from making dinner.

A Confidence Game

This morning, I read a post over at Kameron Hurley's blog that really resonated with me. In it, she talks about her flagging confidence in her writing, and comes to a conclusion that sort of rocked me back. Here's an excerpt (italics mine):

I worry these days that my writing isn’t as good as it used to be, because all the choices I make seem to be poor ones. I’ll go through a story or a scene and realize that what I chose during the first pass was totally inappropriate. I keep thinking I’ve lost touch with the words, that there’s some kind of innate feeling for plot, character, structure, that went by the wayside. It’s made the last year of writing incredibly slow-going and difficult.

It wasn’t until tonight, as I went through and worked on the heroes story, that I realized what I was doing. There wasn’t anything different about the choices I made the first time through now than there was three years ago. The difference is, they’re *transparently wrong choices* now. As I go through and clean up the words, I’m seeing the errors – and where those errors will lead – a lot sooner than I would have a couple years ago.

Her conclusion really resonated with me because I've been struggling with precisely the same thing. I've found that I've completely lost the ability to plow merrily through my manuscript, tossing words about willy-nilly with nary a care as to where they land. Instead, each and every word, phrase, character, and plot element in a scene is carefully placed, nudged, tweaked, turned, and then angrily toppled like a child's stack of blocks, only to start from scratch again until the scene is right. The result is a first draft far cleaner than any I've written, but written at a far slower pace than I'm used to. I suspect, in the end, this book won't take any longer than the last two (in fact, it may wind up finished quicker), but much like being stuck in traffic instead of cruising on the open road, it sure feels like it's taking longer.

For the longest time, I've just assumed my issue was one of shaken confidence. Shopping two books that represent several years of effort and brain-space is an arduous task, and no amount of truly wonderful feedback can do much to lessen the strain the process puts on you. The whole process is nerve-jangling and nausea-inducing, if only for the fact that I've put myself out there, and I'm really freakin' invested in the outcome.

But Kameron's post managed to reframe my current manuscript-angst. I've come to realize the book I'm working on now may be the best I've written yet. The only catch is, it is that way because I've learned a thing or two in the course of writing my last two books, and that knowledge comes not without a price. Rather than sailing obliviously on through my first draft, only to panic while working on the second, I'm meeting those problems head-on early in the process. Which, frankly, kinda sucks.

So yeah. I'm not entirely sure what to do with this little borrowed revelation o'mine, except to put my head down and soldier on. But I take heart in the thought that this weird crisis of confidence might simply be a rite of passage. As Sam Beam'll tell you, "There's no way to grow that don't hurt." Long as you realize that, the hurt don't seem so bad.

And with that, it's back to the WIP for me...

Stuart Neville's THE TWELVE Released Today!

Congrats, Stuart! It's official. According to Amazon UK, my copy's in the mail.

Oh, and for those of you who'd like to get your hands on a copy, I'd start here. By all accounts, you'll be glad you did.

Who doesn't like free?

Just a quick post to point you toward Stuart Neville's site, where he's giving away a free short story collection as a promotion for the release of his debut novel, The Twelve. For those of you who don't know the tale of Stuart's path to publication, it was a short published in Thuglit that first caught the attention of his agent. So if you want to read some great short fiction, or maybe see just what it takes to make an agent stand up and take notice, get over there and check it out.

The Adventure of Link

Okay, folks, I thought I'd offer a little linkage to brighten this rainy Mainey Sunday, now with BONUS! list of summer reads sure to fill your days with awesome. So cue the John Woo doves and slo-mo, 'cause here come the bullets:

• Jack Getze, author of the fantastic Austin Carr series, has some nice things to say about yours truly in advance of the impending relaunch of Spinetingler as a part of BSC Review. If you've not read any of Jack's stuff, start with the freakin' smashing (thrilling, hilarious, tequila-soaked) Big Numbers. And while you're at it, scoop up Big Money, too -- you're gonna wanna read 'em both.
• While we're talking about ordering books, I thought I'd take the time to mention how easy it is for folks on my side of the pond to order Stuart Neville's The Twelve via Amazon UK (due out July 2nd). If you've got an Amazon account, your login is the same, and the shipping's very reasonable. It's out in the US in October as The Ghosts of Belfast, and I'm thinking you might wanna pick up one of each. This book is going to be huge. Of course, you don't have to take my word for it: just ask Ken Bruen, John Connolly, and James Ellroy.
  
• Hey, you wanna read a couple killer reviews? Check out what Publishers Weekly had to say about Sophie Littlefield's A Bad Day for Sorry. Then check out this review from Kirkus. And did you click through the link above to see that killer price on Amazon? You know you want it, so what's stopping you?
• For those of you who, come summer, are challenged of attention-span, Bleak House books is offering up Uncage Me, a collection of seriously twisted short fiction from some of the best in the crime business. Now, you might think that with luminaries like Faust, Gischler, and Guthrie on the list, they could've coasted on the rest. But a couple hungry new kids on the block (ah, hell, has a freakin' boy band ruined that phrase forever?) by the name of Bagley and Blackmoore have a thing or two to say about that. Seriously, these guys always bring the goods, and if you like your bleak with a side of brutal, you'd be nuts to pass this collection up.

So there you go. Enough fantastic reading to keep you grinning ear to ear all summer long. And a word of warning: if you guys don't go out and buy all of this stuff right now, you're going to regret it. Not least because I'm a big fan of each and every one of these guys (and gal), so I'm not above guilting you until you do. So what're you waiting for?

UPDATE: The aforementioned Mr. Blackmoore has informed me The Twelve is also available to US customers at The Book Depository, and that shipping is free to anywhere in the world. So seriously, there's no excuse not to pick yourself up a copy.