Saturday, May 22, 2010


So here's the deal: the other day, my little sis was over for dinner, and casually mentioned her persistent childhood fears of sewer grates (on account of the freaky, mutant crocodiles that live in sewers) and of pool drains (based upon her fantastically awesome belief that, inside said drains lurked tiny, chlorine-and-fresh-water-immune sharks that, if you were to swim directly over, would burst forth, growing instantly to full size and eating you.)

Naturally, as the decent, kind, loving older brother I am, I responded to this by mocking her heartily about the head and neck. And then, when she went home (presumably to avoid further mocking) (I kid -- it was late and stuff, and she wasn't crying or anything) (as far as you know), I brought said mocking to Twitter, where things, as they are wont to do on Twitter, got a little out of hand.

The result of all this Twitter ridiculosity (with a hat-tip to Dan O'Shea) is what could only be described as the all-time-greatest movie idea of all time: TOXIC SHARKODILE Vs. SHARKOPOTTOMUS. How, you may be asking, did we get there from my sister's childhood fears? To that, I answer, "Who cares? It's a movie about a toxic sharkodile and a sharkopottomus!"

So, fellow netizens, I issue a challenge. A flash-fic challenge. I challenge you to come up with a treatment, cold-open, or trailer (your choice) for the most ridiculous, most over-the-top, most godawful SyFy-style schlockfest of a movie this side of MANSQUITO or ATOMIC TWISTER. Does it have to make sense? No. Does it have to be in script form? Heck no. All it has to do is rock.

So get cracking. And if you write something, let me know so's I can link to it.

Sometime this weekend, I'll cook up one myself. My title, of course, is TOXIC SHARKODILE Vs. SHARKOPOTTOMUS. And my tagline? "One created to kill. One created to protect. And one trusty sharkadoodle sidekick."

Are y'all in? Or am I standing on this limb all by my lonesome, hoping the sharkodile below fails to notice me?

UPDATE: Okay, I may have changed the title in my own flash-fic challenge. We'll know come tomorrow when I publish the darn thing. Also, one would think it would be spelled "sharkopotamus". One would be wrong.