But before we get to any hat-drawing, a certain Mr. Cranmer, editor of Beat to a Pulp and guest judge of this little contest, has weighed in with his pick for Winner Number One -- as well as a few honorable mentions for good measure. David tells me there were so many quality entries, he had trouble picking just one, and to that I say amen. But pick he had to do. And so, without (too much) further ado, and only slight continued vamping on the part of yours truly, I give you -- in just a moment...
Oh, to hell with it: here's the list.
Winner Number One (who, for the record, knocked me sideways with this one, and totally deserved the nod) is Kieran Shea, for this heartwarming tale of triumph in the face of economic adversity:
-Who's he, mommy?
As for David's honorable mentions, they are as follows:
The vultures didn't bother saying Grace.
"Don't touch that!" came too late.
FOR SALE: Hemingway's shotgun. Used once.
Fuck you asshole!
Now, much as I'd love to give each of y'all a copy of ROUND ONE, I just don't have that many copies to give. Which is why I've decided to kick in PDF copies of my new Kindle collection 8 POUNDS: EIGHT TALES OF CRIME, HORROR, & SUSPENSE (available now! $0.99 cheap!) for each of the runners up. (Steve, I know you've already got a copy, so instead, maybe I'll send you the negatives for those pictures we discussed. You know the ones I'm talking about.)
Now, onto Winner Number Two, who shall be chosen from a hat by my
Are you ready?
Like, really ready?
(This is exciting, isn't it?)
Okay, fine -- here we go.
Seriously, I said drumroll! What're you doing just sitting there, blinking at me? We're not going to pick a winner until I hear the pitter-patter of hands on desks, people. Now c'mon, you're holding everybody up.
That's more like it.
And Winner Number Two is...
Huge congrats to the winners and runners up, and thanks to all for playing. If Kieran, Ame, Sandi, Steve, AJ, and Ian could each drop me an e-mail using the link in the sidebar, I'll get your prizes out all pronto-like.
And if you're bummed you didn't win, here's some consolation: BEAT TO A PULP: ROUND ONE is only $15.95 at Createspace and Amazon. Don't you think after all this waiting and anticipation, you deserve a copy? And hey, why not pick up a copy of 8 POUNDS: EIGHT TALES OF CRIME, HORROR, & SUSPENSE while you're at it, for the rock-bottom price of just $0.99...